November 2011
1 post
From the Mailbag!
My longtime friend Lawrence Averill learned from the “About” page on this blog that I’m proud to have received encouraging rejection letters from some of America’s finest literary publications. Wanting to help me out, and understanding that you can never have too many rejection letters from America’s finest literary publications, Larry sent this along …
Dear...
Literary Death Match
I first read my own writing in public more than ten years ago, at the Lux coffee bar in downtown Seattle, as part of a reading series sponsored by the newly-formed Hobart and Monkeybicycle magazines. I remember being terrified. The first public readings I did were the only time I questioned my decision to try to become some kind of writer. “Maybe,” I thought, “I could be the kind...
October 2011
3 posts
A Review of Aunt Julia and the Scriptwriter
Radio Panamericana in Lima, Peru, is the Huffington Post of 1950’s Latin radio. Its prospects rise and fall on its advertising revenue, it copies news items from more reputable sources, and it even has the radio counterpart of slide shows of half-naked, intoxicated celebrities: daily radio soap operas. The news side of the operation may be more reputable, but the daily melodramas drive...
See the Links in the Right-Hand Column?
See them over there?
It took me forever to figure out how to do that.
More content here soon …
September 2011
2 posts
I flew back from Tunisia through Paris, and...
It's Better in the Second Kingdom
Inspired by Elif Batuman’s piece in the September Harper’s, I finally finished the Hollanders’ translation of The Inferno, which I started last year. Naturally, when I had finished the Inferno (Spoiler! Hell is pretty much as you’ve heard: a frozen wasteland with Satan at its very center, half-buried in ice, chomping on the body of Judas), I plunged straight into The...
August 2011
3 posts
Watch This Space!
We have it from a reliable source that a spooky dream I had will appear on the blog of a well-known literary critic. Stay tuned!
Update: Posted! SPOOKY READER DREAM REVEALS POTENTIAL LOCATION OF LOST DANTE MSS
I Saw Nick Drake: A Note on My Fifth Dispatch
I titled my fifth McSweeney’s dispatch on the Tunisian revolution “Ways of Seeing,” after the Jon Berger’s slender collection of art criticism.
I was either paying tribute to Berger’s book, or stealing its title, I’m not sure which. But I spent a lot of time wondering whether I should find a way to acknowledge that it was Berger’s title, not mine. I...
The Douchebags of Florence
The always-entertaining Elif Batuman has written four blog posts over the last several weeks about her back-and-forth with a Harper’s editor over her use of the word “douchebags” to describe the residents of Florence as they appear in Dante’s Inferno.
There are four posts, and they are worth your careful study (start here), not only because they are entertaining, but also...
July 2011
1 post
Dispatches from Post-Revolutionary Tunisia
I was in Tunisia for two weeks, interviewing people about the revolution and whatever comes next, hopefully a smooth transition to a constitutional democracy, inshallah. It was an adventure. McSweeney’s is publishing a series of dispatches about my adventures and the stories I found there.
Today’s dispatch is about Hedi Ouled Baballah:...
June 2011
1 post
Ben Ali Trial Date Set
Al Jazeera reports that Ben Ali will be tried in Absentia in Tunisia on June 20. It has been important for the interim government to bring Ben Ali to trial, among other reasons to demonstrate its independence from the former regime. For that reason, the government has been trying, without success, to extradite Ben Ali and his wife Leila Tribelsi from Saudi Arabia. Now it appears they’ve, um,...
May 2011
9 posts
Jonathan Franzen, Elif Batuman, and the MFA Debate
The internet lit blog topic du jour is Jonathan Franzen’s op-ed in the New York Times, which distills his Kenyon College commencement address. Franzen sets up a clean division between the rewards of technology (the narcotizing ease of its satisfactions, one might say) and the hard-earned rewards of real relationships (they are difficult, but more meaningful!), and urges us to make the harder...
Falling Asleep to BBC
I’m just going to put in a word here for listening to the BBC World Service just before bed, something I do every night. Even if you don’t have an HD radio and a nearby station that plays the World Service on one of its channels, you can get the World Service on your laptop, which you can place conveniently by your bed, or in your bed, as I often do. Yes, it may be conventionally...
The Wisdom of Elif Batuman's Blog Headers
“If writing is not a tearing of the self toward the other within a confession of infinite separation… then it destroys itself.” — Jacques Derrida
Mystery Solved!
Read the post below to learn about The Mystery of The Book That Never Came, then come back to read the solution.
Solution to the Mystery of the Book That Never Came:
It turns out I have two accounts. One under a username, and one under my e-mail address. They both have different account histories, but otherwise they are the same.
In other words, for some time now, there have apparently been...
This Kind of Thing is Always Happening
The week before last I ordered “A Country Called Amreeka,” Alia Malek’s re-telling of American history through Arab-American eyes.
Or so I thought. Every day I checked the foyer of my building, hoping to find the brown Powell’s envelope on top of the mailbox. Every every day it wasn’t there. Finally, today, I checked into the situation. Just before heading home, I...
Summer Project
Lately I’ve been reading about the revolution in Tunisia, following that country’s transition to democratic rule, and taking French classes at the Alliance Francaise. I’m hoping to write some journalism and non-fiction essays about the situation in Tunisia, and I may even travel to Tunisia for the July 24 Constitutional Assembly elections if I can get my act together and it seems...
"Caves of Our Fathers"
Toledo Smith speaks from the heart about the dream of his father, Montana Smith, that there would one day be a Museum of Unnatural History and that it would have a cave. Ross Arbes wrote a fantastic speech that I delivered at the grand opening of the cave in the museum at 826DC in Columbia Heights.
The poet and writer Sandra Beasley took this really fun photograph. Make sure to check out her...
bin Laden Day
Maybe it was the pre-dawn party at the White House, or the weird sense of community and closure, but I spent the day thinking May 2 would be declared a national holiday. I can see it now — bin Laden Day.
It will be an obligatory holiday no one will quite know how to celebrate. “Any plans for bin Laden Day?” friends will ask, and the question will prompt an awkward silence, or...
On Bin Laden
I fell asleep around 10:30 with the BBC World Service playing on my laptop, which was resting on my bedside table, and I woke up some time later — I don’t know when — to the voice of Dan Damon (I think it was him) saying “Osama bin Laden is dead. The United States has recovered his body. We go now to the White House, where President Obama is preparing to speak.”
...
April 2011
2 posts
The Bells of Notre Dame
Last August I stood in front of Notre Dame, holding my Iphone up to the ringing cathedral bells. The late morning felt like dawn but that’s how Paris was — the sun was always low and casting long shadows. Every hour seemed earlier or later than it really was.
I remember the cool breeze, the milling tourists babbling in tongues, the woman next to me crouched beneath her Powershot. A...
Listen
March 2011
1 post
Postscript
To be serious — The author is conscious of the numerous faults and imperfections of his work; and well aware of how little he is disciplined and accomplished in the arts of authorship. His deficiencies are also increased by a diffidence arising from his peculiar situation. He finds himself writing in a strange land, and appearing before a public which he has been accustomed, from childhood,...
February 2011
4 posts
Recently . . .
I wrote two other pieces about Egypt for the Huffington Post blog.
This was before I found out, from Nate Silver’s post in the New York Times, that no one actually reads the Huffington Post blog, and that the fair market value of my blog posts is the price of a Hershey bar with almonds, maybe a little less. You might think I’d be disappointed, but in fact I thought Nate’s...
Inside the White House
The Secretary of State: The peaceful citizens of Egypt are gathered in Tahrir Square, singing songs and chanting slogans for democracy.
The President: What do they want?
The Secretary of State: President Mubarak to resign. Economic opportunity. An end to state torture. They also want an interim unity government and amendments to the Egyptian Constitution to allow free and fair elections.
...
Swamplandia!
A little over a year ago, in one of those rare moments of prescience that allows us to see the future and take a step or two ahead of it, I noticed that Karen Russell would be teaching at the Tin House Writer’s Workshop in the summer of 2010.
I had read St. Lucy’s Home for Girls Raised by Wolves, Karen’s collection of Gothic, absurd, and darkly funny tales involving mystical...
Jalal Alamgir and Joshua Ferris at the AWP
We drove over to the AWP Conference at the Marriott Wardman Park Hotel on a rainy Saturday morning in Washington, D.C.
Jalal Alamgir gave the first reading we saw. He appeared on a panel of Bangladeshi writers, in this case four Americans born in Bangladesh who write about the country of their birth, except that Alamgir was born in Pakistan, if I remember correctly. He read a story about a woman...
January 2011
6 posts
The Journal of the Unknown Founder
Earlier I wrote about my effort, with the help of my friends, to write the Journal of the Unknown Founder for the 826DC Museum of Unnatural History. Well, we did finish the project, and here is the result:
This is an example page, before Oliver Uberti added his wonderful drawings. You can see the journal, and many other wonders, at the 826DC museum. It’s on 14th Street, next to...
Anatomy of a McSweeney's Piece: A One-Question...
Marco Kaye’s latest piece for McSweeney’s is “Two Years Later: The Geese Respond to the So-Called ‘Miracle on the Hudson.’
I love the images and the language in Marco’s piece, Etienne’s memory of the sawgrass and the marsh reeds rushing underneath on her first flight, and the line, “If they both didn’t yaw down, the force of the water could...
When Wanderers Cease to Roam
You have to check out Vivian Swift’s wonderful web site of stories and cartoonish watercolors. It is fantastic.
Swift traveled the world for 20 years, then settled down in a quaint village known as “Long Island Sound” to write the memoir of her traveling life. At age 52 she published her book “When Wanderers Cease to Roam,” the title of which I’ve nicked for...
How to Take a Photograph
As with all things, the trick is to be patient and wait for the moment to come. When it does, you make eye contact and gesture toward your camera in a way that isn’t too obvious. You’re silently asking permission. When you do it right, it’s cool. You usually get a smile or a nod. Then you can get to work.
I first saw the pickle drum player pictured below earlier this week when I...
Street Scene
Gallery Place, Washington, D.C., January 14, 2011
The Terrorists Have Already Won
Washington National Airport, January 9, 2011
November 2010
3 posts
My Open Letter of Prayer to the Country of Russia
The typical experience for me is to get lost in the excitement of writing something, see only its magic and surprises, and come to believe I’ve written something really good. I think, “This is amazing! The people who read this are going to love it!”
Then, when I re-read it later, sobriety sets in. Its flaws are there in sharp relief, as if a new light is shining on them. Then I...
If Elvis Costello Really Had Written the Book...
(To the tune of the pop hit, and with thanks to Maud Newton for the inspiration, and possibly the whole idea)
(Musical interlude.) Woah, oh. Oh, oh, oh … Don’t tell me you don’t know the difference Between action and exposition Or that the natural guise of truth is fiction All I wanted was to cast a waking dream Here’s the thing: It’s not as easy as it seems I...
Apologies for the Radio Silence
And then, after coming up with the perfect idea for a subject for this blog … I stopped writing in it.
Oops.
But I will be back soon. There was a bit of a hiccup in my moonlight writing career, but it’s back on track now.
— Sean
August 2010
12 posts
The Journal of the Unknown Founder
I’ve been working with 826DC on the design of its creative writing center, which will open in Columbia Heights in late September. The storefront for the center will be “The Museum of Unnatural History,” and it is, of course, a take-off on the Smithsonian’s Museum of Natural History, or any museum of natural history. Its specific conceit is that it preserves and continues...
Scene from My Last Day in Paris
In the Montmarte District, on a narrow cobblestone street just down from the carousel, and in front of a row of shops and a gathered crowd, two early-20-ish women with accoustic guitars belted out a slow rendition of “Hit Me Baby One More Time.” They sang in English with soft French accents, their voices in perfect harmony, their guitar cases open in front of them for change. They wore boots and...
The Secret Entrance to the Louvre
As you know, there is always a huge line snaking out from I.M. Pei’s glass pyramid in the center of the Court Napolean. There are, however, a number of side entrances, including two by the fake Arc d’ Triomphe that are lacking in signage and look from the ground like abandoned subway entrances. In fact they lead down to the Carousel de Louvre, the collection of fancy shops on one side...
Theories on Why Paris Is So Great
1. The Light.
It’s true what they say — the light here is really great. Everywhere else, the light is good in the hour or so after sunrise and before sunset. Here you get great light all day long. It’s really uncanny. How do they do it?
Here’s what I’m talking about. The first picture was taken AT NOON from an outdoor table at the cafe down the block from my...
The Cold, Elemental Grace That Knows When to Take...
Writing can be a way of exercising one’s demons. It can relieve a specific anxiety, or reveal the answer to a question. In these and other ways, writing can be a point of contact with the half-known world, a way of accessing the powers and truths that shape our world but lie just beyond our ability to put them into words, or a way of revealing what Joy Williams calls “the cold,...
The Advantages and Perils of Ordering in French
Advantages:
1. If done well from start to finish, can give you the satisfying feeling of having a thoroughly authentic Paris experience.
2. My experience has been that when you order in French, you also get French service. This means they generally leave you alone unless you indicate you want something, which I really like.
3. If you complete the entire transaction in French, it feels like you...
Possibly the Best Snack Food Ever
A banana-strawberry-chocolate crepe, prepared by one of the street venders you see in various locations in Paris. Forget cupcakes. America needs Paris snack crepes, and fast.
People Keep Asking Me for Directions
I’ve been in Paris for a total of ten days now, and on every one of those days but one, a stranger has approached me on the street and asked, in French, for directions.
This actually happens to me whenever I travel. I must look knowledgeable and approachable, like someone who knows his directions and won’t mind being asked. That it’s happening in Paris is surprising, but that...
One Week to Get Your Bearings, Two to Really Enjoy...
I bet we’ve all experienced that way in which a vacation becomes somehow magical in its second week. In the first week you get over your jet lag, find the things you enjoy doing in your new location, and generally get familiar enough with your new surroundings to be able to relax and enjoy yourself.
I’ve spent one week in Paris and one week in Tunisia, so this week — the third...
Report
It seems worth reporting that on Friday the 13th, during Ramadan, I flew from Tunis, Tunisia, to Paris, without incident.
A Hard Rain
My entry in the Out of the Storm Bad Weather Writing Contest:
A Hard Rain
It was a hard rain. The kind of rain that pelted a man, that drove him down. Each drop was like a hammer. But a very small hammer. The kind of hammer a jeweler might use, if a jeweler had any use for a hammer. Did jewelers use hammers? Simms didn’t know. But as the drops pelted him he thought, if a jeweler used a hammer,...
Je Parles Solomente un Peu Francais
Here is how I came to visit Paris. I was telling a friend that I wanted to take a couple of weeks off in August or September, but I didn’t quite know where to go or what to do. She said, “Why don’t you go stay in my mom’s apartment in Paris?”
There were several intermediate questions to ask — “What, you’re mom has an apartment in Paris?”...
July 2010
4 posts
Tin House
I’ve written a week’s worth of blog posts about the Tin House Writing Workshop:
Saturday, July 17
Where did the time go? One day I’m searching for coffee in the morning, and the next thing I know it’s the last day of the conference. There are no morning lectures today, only our last workshop session from 10 to 12:30, and then Robert Boswell’s lecture at 2 o’clock on complexity in...
Failed New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest Entries
Losing entry for June 20, 2010:
“My melancholy baby …”